John (55) and Mary (63) has being in a relationship for more than three years and apparently loves each other dearly.
Since day one however, when John first called to arrange a visit to meet her, a man kept answering the phone and John thought that he may have dialed the wrong number.
After more calls he found that it was in fact her number answered by a man.
They then arranged a meeting and when John arrived at Mary's door to visit her as to get to know her better, the same man that answered the phone opened the door to let him in.
When asking who the man was Mary told John that it was her X husband.
It turned out that that her X was working for her and that was accepted by John as the relationship started to blossom between John and Mary.
Mary later told John when they discussed her X hanging around so much, that her adult children and her close friends told her that if she wanted a new man in her life (she made it very clear that she was going to get a man as she no longer wanted to be alone as her X walked out of the house some 15 years before and she was in fact living a divorced life all this time yet they spoke on the phone or saw each other every day but was now divorced from him for about a year) that she will have to push her X out of her life as getting divorced means that you leave each other and not cling to each other. They told her in no uncertain terms that no man will go into a relationship with her while her x is hanging around.
Mary unfortunately did not accept any of this advice by her loved ones and closest friends of years.
One day John was placed in a very difficult spot as he and Mary had an argument and Mary called her X to come and sit into their argument and speak to John to assist her in "winning the argument" against John.
This was then followed by numerous different situations where Mary would often compare John with her X and would say to him " you are not even a shadow of the man that he is" and "he would never do what you do" and finally that "he could do things better than you"
John felt more and more inadequate and as if he "trespassed into their space".
Note that John then moved in with Mary and they lived in her house which was frequented by het X.
One day after a very big fall out between John and Mary they decided in the heat of the moment that it may be a good idea for them to split up, John decided to go and cool down and took a walk.
When he returned to the house he found that Mary has called her X and he has already packed most of John's personal belongings into boxes and took him away.
John then left Mary and went back to his hometown that was 1,200 km's away from her.
Very soon after he left Mary called him and they patched up their relationship again.
In the three years that followed they broke up three times yest got back together every time and they claimed that they loved each other more every day.
John and Mary then decided to move to another town in order to start clean and fresh and away from their "stormy" past as to build their relationship and a life together in the new town.
Once after just a smallish argument, Mary told John that they must get married as she felt that John was just not serious about their relationship and told him that they should get married.
When John's response was that they should first sort out the relationship before getting married as who wants to marry just to divorce a few months later, Mary told him in no uncertain terms that she wil then get someone else to marry her and she wil do so soon as to show John that she can get another man.
The next day, two days after they last made love, Mary bought an airline ticket and got Peter that she has considered to enter into a relationship with at the very same time when she met John, to come and visit her in the new hometown. She told John that he needs to keep a low profile as to give her and Peter some time alone. John was furious when hearing this and asked why and for how long? Mary told him "oh, for about a week depending on how it will go" and John retreated to give Mary the space she wanted.
At John's request, Mary told him that Peter wil stay in a guest house while he is "visiting" her.
John then found to his dismay that Peter was in fact staying in the house with her where they, John and Mary supposed to be were living?
John was aware that in SMS messaging and telephone calls between Peter and Mary ended in Peter telling her that he had an 17 inch penis and was very worried when he noticed Peter walking bare chested around the house with just a boxer type short.
John also overheard a conversation where Mary told Peter that there was "nothing more" between her and John.
With all this breaking John's trust in the strength of the relationship , John then asked Mary to marry him and to send Peter home as they must sort their relationship out as they both still claimed to love each other dearly.
When Peter was sent home, he was furious with Mary and claimed that she just "used him to make John jealous" in order to get him to ask her to marry him.
After the shock of all that happened John was seriously reconsidering weather Mary did in fact love him as dearly as she claimed? How could she do this to me if she really loved me, he asked himself.
The wedding plans was then pushed aside and John told Mary that the soonest their relationship can become stable and sound, they could get married but not before.
John told Mary that other people including friends, family, her X and other men does not belong in their relationship and could only ruin it.
Mary's response was that John overreacted and John stopped talking about it hoping that Mary wil realize that she is wrong and then correct the fault herself.
This has never happened and two week ago, the X came to deliver some stock for Mary and stayed in her flat with her that had only one bed and a short couch with would be very unpleasant to sleep on, and the X then stayed there with her for just about a week.
In this time Mary made no attempt to resolve anything with John and frankly had a ball with her X even celebrating her 63 rd birthday with him and her daughters family without John being invited to participate.
Joihn has now had enough and told Mary directly and clearly that he wil no longer have Mary's X and other men interfering with his intentions to be in a good and trusting relationship and to marry her.
John made this decision after realizing that Mary has again being chatting, sending SMS's and pictures to Peter again after they decided together that she wil have no more contact with Peter after his last "visit" to her...
Mary keeps on telling John that he is overreacting and that she has NO other men in her life and that she is not sleeping with them.
What is your opinion about the situation?
Please feel free to give advice or your opinions...